This past week, someone on fb posted a correction to the words I had written. My first reaction was irritation. Uggg…I hate being wrong and I especially hate when other people correct me.
I’m not particular about grammar, but I do choose to be very clear with my words. I will often toss grammatical rules aside when they box-in the energetic essence I’m choosing to render. I want my words to be energetic. I want you to “feel” them. I want them to pierce your heart to excite and awaken more of who you are.
In this particular case I was clear with my energy, but as she pointed out, there was a better word. I replied to her, saying that I stand corrected. It was in that moment I realized that was a really big thing for me to do, to publicly own up to being wrong!
The need to be “right” has been a prominent theme in my life. I like to be the one in the know, the one who’s correct, the one in charge, in control.
Most of my life I have been one who knows. Not because I’m smarter or more intelligent than others, but because I’ve always been aware of an Inner Knowing. It’s only when I play mental or emotional games that I get sucked into the battlefields of right-wrong. In most cases, I simply walk away because I tire easily of doing battle. But if the arrow is aimed directly at me personally, shields go up and I revert to my mind rather than my Inner Knowing. When that happens, I feel vulnerable. I feel like I look stupid, more shields go up, and I draw upon my quiver full of mental arrows.
I now realize that is Society’s Training 101, taught to us as infants. However, I’ve been engaged in a new graduate program, Innate Inner Knowing. Although it’s always been there, it’s time to embody this as my natural way of being.
The more I practice, the more I realize how often I’ve held myself back from doing things that I could have otherwise enjoyed for fear that others would think I’m stupid or incompetent. Afraid to ask questions to learn something new because I think I should already know everything. Afraid to be vulnerable enough to communicate with a friend on a deeper level for fear they might discover how unworthy I am.
The more I practice, the more I relieve myself of the heavy societal shields which have been weighing me down, allowing my childlike innocence to burst forth. The wonderment of life, the joy of something new, the unlimited bouts of laughter when things don’t work out, rather than dismay because a child has no preconceived notions.
What a relief to no longer be the one who feels like they need to know everything for everyone else. What a relief to finally realize there is no right or wrong, knowing it’s all simply experience. What a relief to be innocent and childlike again to explore and enjoy life, to create anew…. to paint rainbows across the sky for no reason other then the pure enjoyment of it!!
~Sharon Lyn Shepard~
“message from my inner wisdom”
♥ Sharing is always appreciated ♥
gratitude to the artist Anne Wipt